Got a “Thinking of you card,” for Infertility awareness week today. What a sweet surprise! This person has no idea what that means to me, but i’ll be sure to tell her. No one can understand this disease unless you have gone through it. I don’t know how many times I have told people this but your thoughts, just being there and letting us know you’re thinking about what we are going through makes a world difference in our struggles.
In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, RESOLVE has made a national call to all of us blogger types to write special posts with the theme of “Don’t Ignore” a certain aspect of infertility.
As I am a little time-challenged this week, I did not have the ability to write a new post. So, I thought I would bring out the most popular post I’ve had. (By popular I mean, the one that generated the most traffic and the most messages from readers)
So, click on the link above to read my extremely personalized attempt at providing a beginner’s guide to the world of infertility and IVF. Enjoy! Or, um re-enjoy.
I am currently taking a 30 minute break from a very long day of cramming for my finals. Tomorrow I have part 1 of my Algebra exam. If I do not Ace these next two exams, I will not get a passing grade-again, (so embarrassing.) I currently have a 64% and have worked hard at getting that grade. It’s bullshit, my head does not grasp Algebra, I feel defeated but I can’t think that way, I MUST ace the shit out of these finals.
After that math exam, I then have my lab practical in A&P 2. I don’t know what happened with this semester but i’m having a hard time with it. I was so sure I would 4.0 this class. My grade is currently 78%, wtf? I’m so occupied with infertility, family situation with my parents, working full time, i’m just exhausted and spent. Only 2 classes left this semester-must keep pushing.
I CAN HANDLE IT, wish me luck!
Oh, and I am so excited for all the new followers. It is interesting to see how infertility is handled in other perspectives. It certainly makes me think outside myself, I love it!
Leaves symbolize growth, earth, rebirth and fertility. We’ve designed this necklace to inspire just that….fertility and growth. Hanging from this sterling silver 18” necklace is a sterling dipped leaf along with two gemstone amulets: The leaf measures 3/4” long by 5/*” wide. Rose Quartz symbolizes and encourages fertility. Rose Quartz is also helpful and protective during pregnancy and with childbirth. Emotionally, Rose Quartz brings forgiveness, compassion, as well as balancing one’s emotions. It helps with healing emotional wounds and traumas. Rose Quartz removes fears, resentments and anger Aventurine supports reproductive health which in turn promotes fertility, It is the color of pale green which symbolizes a fertile earth. Your New Leaf Fertility Necklace will arrive to you in a gift pouch ready for gift giving and includes a notecard with a complete description of the symbols and gemstones used in it’s design.
“Don’t ignore… my reasoning for not being able to attend your baby shower, child’s birthday, etc. It’s not because I’m jealous, or rude, or inconsiderate. It’s because it’s too difficult… emotionally. I consider myself to be a strong person; I’ve been through a lot these past few years. But sitting in a room for two or more hours while people are opening up cute baby clothes and talking about how fun it is to be pregnant, isn’t my idea of a good time. More than likely, I’d end up in a bathroom crying my eyes out.”—…And why dont you have kids yet? (via sisterpearl)
So, continuing with my infertility awareness week posts, today’s topic will be things to say to an infertile, or how to be a good friend to an infertile.
“I am here if you need anything/need to talk”. ( Just knowing there is a supportive friend, makes everything so much better)
“Well, I’ll support you no matter what you decide to do.” (Because when 90% of the comments made are judgements it’s so nice to know at least ONE friend is not doing that)
“How are you feeling?” (Surprisingly people never think to ask this, or something along this lines, and just start with their “I’m super fertile but let me crack some eggs of infertile knowledge on you” advice.)
Even if you don’t talk very much, just let them know from time to time you’re thinking about them, and reassuring you’re there to talk.
Mother’s Day. Pretty close to the worst day for a woman struggling with infertility. A “thinking of you” or “I’m here to talk” or anything along those lines can do wonders.
“I’m sorry.” (Some people like it. Some may not. But infertility is dismissed a lot. And ignored a lot. Comments like “Well you could have worse health problems than infertility” should not be said, and just replaced with an “I’m sorry”)
Just remember when you have a friend struggling with infertility, words can hurt.The best thing to do, is to HOLD the advice and offer up all the love and support you have.
Number 5, I seriously dread. It is the hardest day, I don’t go on any internet sites, as a matter of fact, this year I will be in Puertorico ignoring Mother’s Day all together.
I wanted to reblog this post viaukraine wrote today. I couldn’t agree more! Infertility Awareness Week!
This year Resolve’s campaign against infertility is called “Don’t Ignore”. It’s purpose is to draw attention to how infertility affects every aspect of a person’s life. Everything. Your marriage, your body, your emotions, your friendships, your work. You get the idea.
I am a pretty private person, so I didn’t tell a lot of people that my husband and I were dealing with infertility. I still haven’t actually told anyone besides a few close friends, I just let everyone assume that since we adopted something wasn’t working with our baby-making parts. I didn’t want people to know because I didn’t want to hear stupid people tell me stupid things about having a baby. Some people, though, share their infertility journey openly and I applaud them - but it can be a much more difficult path. Once you put it out into the Universe that you want a baby everybody and their dog is going to start asking you about it.
So, today’s “Don’t Ignore” is directed to the people who have not dealt with infertility. Everyone who has struggled or is currently struggling with infertility knows that this is a disease. A heart-wrenching, life changing disease. One that is a complete surprise to many people who suffer with it and one that really has no cure. Sure, you can have a baby with the help of science, but you don’t magically become fertile afterward.
That being said, here are some things to NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS say to someone who is struggling with infertility:
Just relax (because you know, cancer or diabetes goes away when you stop thinking about it)
Go on vacation
What’s meant to be will be
There is a bigger plan
Ugg, my kids are so annoying, be glad you don’t have any
Are you sure you want kids?
Just adopt - you’ll totally get pregnant then
I completely understand - it took us like three whole months to get pregnant
My cousin’s sister-in-law’s babysitter told me she knew a girl who got pregnant from…
Here are some things you should say:
What can I do?
I love you and support you and I am always here to listen.
That’s it. If you haven’t dealt with infertility you don’t understand, pretending you do only angers people. It’s okay to not have much to say. As an infertile I can tell you I’d rather just have you listen.