Yoga reduces the physical effects of stress on the body. By encouraging relaxation, yoga helps to lower the levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Related benefits include lowering blood pressure and heart rate, improving digestion and boosting the immune system as well as easing…
It is estimated that there are over 70 million women and girls who have Endometriosis world-wide. It is more common than breast cancer or Aids, and many other diseases, that are well known. Despite the huge numbers of women who suffer from this disease, few people have actually heard of it.
It is just so damn frustrating that the only person that can relate to and understand what I am going through with my infertile body is my husband. I feel bad for him, he sits with me patiently while I cry and soothes my pain. I try to talk about it with people that I think will be empathetic to my circumstance, people I think care about me but then when I say what I am feeling. I feel guilty, like I am ruining their day by talking about it again. I need to vent, I need more support than my husband. What people fail to realize is, I do not have any type of relationship with my mom, whom I should be able to cry to. Her idea of handing my situation is to put on my big girl panties and deal with it. Harsh, yet she has a point. I mean, I think I put on my big girl panties. She has no idea to care how hard it is to see all my friends and family become pregnant again and again….it’s gut wrenchingly painful.
I have never seen anything as clearly as I do when I say that without my husband, I would be a wreck. He has always been there for me and sincerely puts in effort to make up for the lack of love I get from my family. It’s been bothering me that I tried to reach out to my mother-again. I sent her a gift last week for her birthday in hopes that she would see how much I need her to reciprocate, well she still moves on in her days without a thought as to what i’m doing. with my life. I’m tired of focusing on that. Instead, I focus on who does appreciate the love I give them. My husband is definitely one of those people.
So, please bare with me while I try to process the rejection. I’m just trying to not hold anything in anymore.
I can say that at this point in the game of my husband and I’s baby making effort, I feel helpless, angry and desperate. I get sick-physically from being around new babies and pregnant women, i’m not being dramatic about how i’m describing the way I feel. I know when a friend is going to tell me she’s pregnant, I can read those women like a fucking picture book, and I dread those words about to come out of their mouth. I’m happy for them but the sadness I feel over powers my desperation of wanting what they easily got. It’s out of control people.
I have been following the diet pretty well with taking a break sometimes-I LOVE PASTA! I haven’t had chocolate in over a month with the exception of the chocolate chip cookies I had last night. Boy did I pay for it. All that pain from my endometriosis hit me ten fold last night. I just feel like i’m at a dead end and I should really stop wanting it anymore. I feel as though I am just setting myself up. We have been trying naturally(because I took myself off the birth control my Dr. has been treating my endo with, I had been bleeding for over 2 mos-fuck that! Sorry about the tmi) I am afraid of what will be showing up next week wrapped in a fucking box. My periods/endometriosis control my life.